Altered book spread “advice”

As promised, I’m showing more of the pages from my altered book of me, made as part of the Art, Heart and Healing class done by Willow.

This page spread is full of advice and positive comments that I think every child needs to hear repeatedly.  I didn’t grow up with a lot of confidence and felt awkward in my body so I focused on sentiments that would help ease those pains.

    I still struggle with body image on a daily basis.  I was underweight until after I was married.  So that is the norm that I associate with my body.  After settling into our married routine, I gained and was in a “normal” weight zone, but I felt fat.  Its stupid, ,I know, but that is how I felt.  A few years at this weight and I had a major stress with my dad getting very ill, very suddenly and some food allergies/intolerances that I now realize I had had all my life, kicked into overdrive and I got sick.  I couldn’t eat anything without spending hours in the bathroom.  I spent about 2 years eating very little and going to many specialists who couldn’t help me.  I was back to “underweight” but very sick most of every day.

I finally tried a natural treatment that combines energy medicine with accupressure and got my reactions to food back to a manageable level.  That meant that I could once again eat foods I loved and not get sick.  And that is just what I did.  I ate.  Everything.  And I gained lots of weight and actually tipped out at an “obese” (don’t you just love the terms for weight) level.  I have to say that I enjoyed every bite that got me there.  It was wonderful to eat and rarely get sick and I took pleasure in tasting things I hadn’t been able to have for a long time.

Of course, I did not take pleasure in my body.  It led to my depression flaring and lots of self-worth issues.  It was a very rough time where it seemed my only pleasure was in eating (kinda a double edged sword huh?).  I stayed at this extra large size for about 2-3 years.  Then I took action.

I worked hard.  I did daily workouts (many times 2 a day), and I ate very carefully.  The weight came off and I returned to the “normal” weight zone (which I still sometimes feel fat in) and have remained there for the past 5 years.  Most days my body image is ok now, but their are days I look in the mirror and see all the faults instead of the strong able body that I have.  I am still a work in progress.

I know many women struggle with body image and I wish that our society would lend itself to celebrating the diversity of our bodies instead of idealizing those few and far between perfect ones.  So, my spread focuses on the words that I wish I had heard more growing up (I did hear them, but I think every little girl should be able to hear them ALL the time).  I try to say these things to my nieces so that they hopefully they can celebrate their individuality rather than struggle with it.  And I try to be a positive, healthy role model for my students.  I celebrate their uniqueness with them and I hope they grow into strong, beautiful women.

So, dear readers if you’ve made it this far in my lengthy post I hope you’ll respond with compassion.  I’ve bared a part of me that is raw.  I’m hoping that by doing so I’ll reach a better level of acceptance of my body and be stronger overall.  Thanks.

Another card for the deck

Sorry for the long time since the last post. Time just seems to slip away sometimes. I have been doing art, but just haven’t gotten to posting anything. Anyways, for today I would like your opinion again. I made both of these cards with thoughts for the Healing deck by Mother Henna. I'm not sure which would be better for the deck.

“Beauty Lies Beneath” was made for all the times we judge by first impressions or someone’s outer appearance. When we fall into this trap we miss out on getting to know the true person we have encountered. If we keep an open mind and block out judgment we can look with our heart and discover the treasures and beauty present within others.

“Love Unconditionally” was inspired by my dogs. They are always there with a friendly face and soft fur to bury tears into. They seem to know when you need something. They cuddly up right next to you and look at you with their big soft eyes and say “its gonna be alright” or “you’re the best.” Its been proven that spending time with your pets can lower your blood pressure and improve your health. I would love to see a thorough study of what having a pet does for your emotional health.

The text of both is not really on the card yet, I photoshopped it to see what it might look like, so that may change a bit. The “Nurture with Nature” card will be one of my two. Which of the other two would you rather see included in the deck?

In other matters, my Gramma spent some time in the hospital this week. I am very thankful that she is okay and home now. If you are lucky enough to still have your grandparents around you go tell them you love them. In fact, make a point today of telling people what they mean to you. So often we assume that they “know” how we feel, but can one ever get tired of hearing those precious words “I love you”? Embrace what you’ve been given and enjoy it while you have it.